| so i'm at my mom's house doing taxes and bored... |
[09 Mar 2005|09:18pm] |
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| How to make a Erin |
Ingredients:
3 parts intelligence
1 part silliness
5 parts instinct |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little lovability if desired! |
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[15 Sep 2004|10:15pm] |
it was my birthday yesterday....
20 sucks. even though i'm not a teen ager anymore.
i'll have a party soon...i hope.
you're invited.
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| what's new home slice?! |
[07 Aug 2004|07:10pm] |
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weezer- lsland in the sun |
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yeah so my life has been boring but at the same time..wow has a lot happened to open my eyes.
- i'm entering my second year in college and i can't beleive how fast the first went by, in so many ways i still feel like a high schooler (i have the same job, same car, same friends. i'm not too good at making new friends, nor have i tried too hard.) but yeah, second year. and the most amazing thing for me is that i carried a 3.0 gpa though this year, fall, spring, and summer. this fall i will really be tested, with a 5credit math calss, a chem class and english..but i'll keep the faith.
- i also got my apartment. its a nice little one bedroom, it gets the job done and i pay the bills. so i guess that's cool. haven't had a party yet and in some ways i kinda dont want to, but i'll get over that and just have one. i'll let you people know...those of you who even bother to read this.
- krista moved away this week, and it sucks cause i could tell her things that i couldn't tell other people and now she's a good 3 hour drive away, i plan to make that drive very soon though, i miss her. :(
- the most amazing thing that has happened to me is krista's going away party that i went to with carrie. so if any of you knew me back in high school..junior year summer and some of senior year, you will know that i liked the drink, and i liked to be drunk and krunk..ya know. but times have changed and so have i, and being at parties now a days kinda makes me sick, but i was carrie's ride so i went, i was the only one not drinking, and you would think that it might be a downer but to know what is going on and see how dumb people really are, and just watch people is more fun the being the one watched. believe it or not. so later that night, i stood in a bath room while two girls threw up in the tub and another person was peeing in the sink cause he was too drunk to care for the toilet, and listened to the broken realizations of a drunken gay boy. chad had the right idea about leaving.
- later that night when i was driving home, with carrie in my car, her head in a plastic bag passed out, with the windows down, trying not to speed down bearrs...i saw a little college student that said that she wouldn't ever drink again, and i had to laugh to my self.
- i had a dream last night, and it fit my like a glove. i wish i could talk to some one about it, but most people would only think i was dumb for thinking about him, but hell it was in my dream, it wasn't my choice. i hate when i dream like that. only in my dreams am i truely happy. or i guess that is what your mind plays on. me and carrie need to go out to the beach one night and have a talk. i need to talk. i want to cry sometimes because of the hurt and because of the want and i can't have or never will. humm..
- i've pulled out some of my older music. i'm listening to the get up kids again, and saves the day, the ataris, and some need stuff too, the stills, the killers, and much more...but i'm getting back in to music and i guess, emo music..cause its no longer trendy and i love that music. oh yeah, and weezer rocks my socks.
well that is all for now. i'm going to eat some dinner with my mom and then go home. good night.
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[22 Jul 2004|03:23pm] |
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i moved in to my apartment yesterday. i'm almost done putting everything away. i like it but i'm back at ryan's house to use the internet and wash my work clothes. but umm yeah..i have to go back to my place and get ready for work.
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| sickness |
[15 Jun 2004|10:30am] |
so..the kids that i am watching got me sick..and i haven't eaten anything but two little cuts of apple sause in the past four days...to say the least..i love the way i look after not eating for four or five days, not that i would do it if i wasn't sick. i threw up just about anything that went down yesterday including my $57.00 meds. and the few days before that, i couldn't swallow anything with out crying because of the pain..so i would never not eat just to look good or thinner, but it gives me a reason to want to work out again. i was going to this week but not eating kinda makes you weak..and being out on rollerblades miles from anyone is not a good idea. but i look the best i have in a while. well i was thinner that one time i threw up 30 times in 32 hours. i went from a size 7 to a size 5 in 24 hours it was great. the pants i wore to school the day i went back..i have never been able to fit in to them again, not even now. but i was able to eat half of a banna today and i have to try to eat something before taking my meds so that i don't throw them up again.
on a brighter note, i pick up ryan from the airport at 11:08 to night. i have to shave my legs so i can wear the cute outfit i bought. a black and pink pin stripped skirt, and very girly pink top and some really great black with pink trim one inch heel sandles. yeah i'm going to dress like a girl!!! woohoo.
bye
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[12 Jun 2004|05:30pm] |
so i just talked to ryan for the first time in over a week. its alittle after 11pm in the county side of france. he said that he's staying in a 17 centery castle..pretty neat. once i heard his voice i started crying because i'm a pussy..but my eyes are still alittle moist.
4 days and counting.
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[11 Jun 2004|02:20am] |
so i've had that kids for 3 nights and they are driving me crazy. i have them for about 14 hours out of the day...no seems like more. i usually drop them off at school at 9 and then pick them up around 5..so you do the math, i'm too tired. but i can't sleep..didn't see that one comeing huh?! i cryed myself to sleep last night..its getting pretty bad..ryan returns in 5 days and i can't wait. his mom comes back on sunday so i can give the kids to them after the jet lag wears off.
funny story for anyone who has watched small children..or just some "what went wrong with the babysitter" show. today we were playing outside and i was washing some play mats out by the pool..and yep..the one year old falls right in to the deep end. i saw it all in slow motion..weird..but i just in to the pool..fully clothed and got that kid out..it was kinks hard seeing on how i'm 5 foot and the pool is 6 foot deep..so i'm try to swim and keep his head above water and get him up on the side. he was smart enough to hold his breath, but still...it was scary. and i was all wet. but yeah that was my HOLY SHIT moment of the day. i never want to see another kid shit his pants again...its so gross. i'm sure my boyfriend doesn't even have poops that bad. it gets stuck around the balls and when i try to wipe it off the kid giggles like he is enjoying me wipeing his balls and ew its just gross! oh yeah..and my leg got tea baged by two little boys today in a hot tub..sound like my style huh?!
so i'm so sick of hanging out with the kids that i invited my mom over for dinner..or just to talk. i hate talking with my mom. she just talks about how her life is no good cause she doesn't have a boyfriend. i mean i'm sure i'm the same way..but hell i already have to hear it in my own head.
ryan has spent too much money over there. i looked at his online banking statement today...holy shit! i'm glad i didn't go cause fuck that! yeah so he doesn't have enough to pay me back, his sister didn't leave me much money, i'm not working for 10 days, my car is in the shop and i have to come up with $600 in a few days..OMG! do people not understand that i can go though $300 in 3 days. i make $450 a week, and taking off all this time is fucking killing me. oh yeah and i have a car payment dun in 4 days. FUCKING FUN! i hate money.
ok i'm done bitching...i'll just jerk off and go to bed.
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[04 Jun 2004|03:49pm] |
i keep reading and hearing about how people are lonely and want to be in relationships and it kinda makes me sad for them...and makes me feel really selfish. why do you ask..well because i've been in a relationship for almost a year and yesterday ryan left out of the country and i'm felling really lonely too. i know that he'll be back in 12 days (hell yeah i'm counting) but at least i've had the love of this person for this time.
i've gotten really bad at writing...i'm reading what i just wrote and it doesn't sound right at all..
i work up around 1 and had 4 hours to go out and do something, but i just don't feel like it. all i want to do is sit in bed and be sad. i cried at the air port yesterday...i felt foolish but i guess that is just me. i've lived with this person for over a year and now he's gone...and i'm just kinda lost. i hate to be so dependent but that is how i am. so me and the dog have been hanging out.
but on an up note...i have 3 days of work left, then i have over a week off!!! well i'll be playing mommy to two small children but its all good. i hope that when that time comes that time will fly, but i still have to watch those kids. i'm getting alittle sick of work, or maybe the same hours i've had for 6 months now. but the hours that i have let me work 23 hours and make $450 a week.
my car goes in to the shop monday. fun fun!
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[26 May 2004|09:55pm] |
so i just took a nice poop and just think, in less then 2 months i'll be poopin` in my own apartment. i'm happy...i'm a 19 yr old who doesn't have enought credit to get a $500 credit card, but i have the credit to sigh a 15 month lease for a one bedroom. i love `merica!
so its a 600 sq ft one bedroom and i move in July 20th. shortly after that i'll be getting a puppy..fun fun!!!
so umm yeah...that is about it for me..
oh yeah..ryan goes to france next thursday...
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[14 May 2004|04:08am] |
don't worry kids...
it's just a phase.
you'll figure it out some day.
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| tvd |
[13 May 2004|02:05am] |
humm...well i'm trying to get back in to tvd, at least for the great help that they can offer me, and because i used to at least talk to some of them..and since i started living with ryan..i've only seen jason a few times...but i really did enjoy these people...thought they were funny, smart, and just great personalities..but if they can't think the same about me..then i'll just have to convince them. ha!
but i just wish that some of the people that gave me alot of problems in the past wouldn't do the same...jay, kt, and robb have been the three who said something, even though i don't think jay will be a big deal, i've talked to kt and he wants to hang out some time..so i guess that is a good thing, and as for robb..what would tvd be with out the r o double b drama huh? heh.
but anyways..i just want to be civil with everyone...i really can be a nice person, and an ok person to be around. well see...
livejournal..the ability to get out what you really want to say..but not to their faces.
well i would say this to their face because its not that bad..but yeah...i'm out!
<3 erin
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[07 May 2004|11:33pm] |
so my body has been trying to puke all day...i'm not at work because i didn't want to throw up on anyone. blah...
www.gimpsgonewild.com
awesome...
by the way...
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[02 May 2004|02:14pm] |
so friday night around 6:30 my car was hit by another driver. ha, i think it is really funny..nothing really to worry about. i know i'm getting a new left fender and front bumper, but i might need a new hood too...but hell, i'm not paying for it! but i got a $90 ticket for the crash cause the very nice police lady said it was my fault..but o well.
so the guy who was driving didn't have a license and was bring home flowers and dinner for his girlfriend who had just had an abortion early that day. i called the cops and the guy pleaded with me to say that he wasn't driving. so i agreed. i couldn't let this guy go to jail after all that he had been though, he shouldn't have been driving..and so crazy, but still. so he had his g/f come down to where we were waiting for the cop and we went over what had happened.
i don't know that if i would have not agreed if i would have gotten a ticket along with him going to jail, but i'm just worried about having 10 points on my license now. shit...but i'm going to talk to some people and try to take the class. even if i have to talk to some head of something, i don't want/need those points.
so for me keeping this guy out of jail, he's going to pay for my ticket and my class..which doesn't really make up for the fact that my insurance is going to go up and that i'll have 3 more points.. but o well.
so now my car is busted and will be til june when i can take time off work to get it fixed. i'm taking it in tuesday to see what some trashie shop says its going to cost to fix, then i'm going to go to the vw dealership and see how much they would charge..cause i am not getting me car fixed at some dirty shop.
for the past few days i've been puppy sitting with ryan, and that puppy is the cutest thing ever!!
i'll have pictures of the car and puppy when i can. audi5000
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[22 Apr 2004|08:37am] |
well, i went to bed around 7:30/8 pm last night and didn't get up until ryan got home around 2:30am..i was up for a little, got something to drink then went back to bed...my alarm was set for 6:45 because i have to give a speech today in class and i had to write it..so when the speech done..i'm just sitten around before i have to drive to school, its kinda nice waking up early and getting stuff done..but on the other hand, i have to work tonight and i just want to sleep..o well.
but i wrote a speech on sexual education in public schools. its ok i guess..as good an a speech can be that was done the day of in about an hour. but i haven't got anything but A's on all my speeches, so we'll see what happens.
ok off to get dressed, have to leave in 20 minutes.
xoxo
eirn
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[19 Apr 2004|04:34am] |
so again i can't sleep...so what do i do....i shop online. hell i have $800 might as well. i'm also on the rag and i guess shopping makes me happy. also because i'm on the rag, i kinda started a fight because ryan didn't seem "happy enough" when he answered his phone..and i've almost kinda cried twice tonight. i'm so fucked up emotionally these next few days.
i could just buy a digital camera..but i think i'll save that for another day...
i bought a camelbak tonight for when i blade in the summer.
i want to take off 20 lbs, go me!
oh i know what i'll buy...a skim board since chad got both of mine stolen!!!
o well i need to fall asleep soon..
night
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[16 Apr 2004|04:46am] |
i was part of a hot gay man sandwich tonight...they were the bread and i was the MEAT. oh what fun with friends.
ha...fuck face..
to night i think has been the first time in my life that i have wanted to fight some one. i really did, but knowing me i would get my ass beat...
o well, i'm going to try to fall asleep now so i can get up and have my car fixed, it threw a code tonight. ugh..volkswagens!
night!
<3
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| i'm more or less writing this for myself....read if you want to know more about me. |
[12 Apr 2004|04:20am] |
so ya know i have this sleeping problem...and i can't sleep.
i just finished watching One Hour Photo on HBO3 and man..was that fucked up. but you know what, for the first half of the movie, before robin williams starts trying to kill people, the man he was playing reminded me much of my father. like in looks and everything. i wish i would have taken a picture with my dad when i saw him for the FIRST TIME IN 7 YEARS last july, but it wasn't on my mind. getting though seeing this man that fuck me up so much was my number one goal.
when i picked him up at a gas station just off the interstate in orlando, you know the gas station that is kinda indoors...i wasn't sure if it was him. we all have pictures, memories, of what our father looked like when we were children, but once that person is gone for so long...that same face stays and you can't watch them age, he didn't want to watch me age. but i picked him up and i felt so proud because i had a nice car...nicer then anyone in my family (well newer but i still like my mom's 97 acura) and i had graduated highschool with a 3.0 and i was going to college (my brother droped out and never got his ged) so i was doing well for myself, and i just wanted him to see that no matter what he did to me in the past, that i had turned out ok, and on my way to a better future. but once i saw him and heard him call me Peanut (my nick name as a child) i was 7 or 8 years old again. i was scared that he would find the cloves in my car or hear me say a bad word and spank the hell out of my ass right there in the middle of the park that we went to. we sat on a bench other looking a pond and he told me what he had been doing for the past 7 years. how do you sum up that much time in a 2 hour chat. all i have to say is at least he's not drinking any more.
alot of people don't know how lucky they are to have a mom and a dad..or even a mom and a mom...but it is such a wonderful thing to have two people that love you no matter what and that you can talk to about different things. all i have is my mom...and she's can be a little crazy some times. i guess after my dad we all went alittle crazy...but it got to the point that i'm working me ass off so i don't have to be around her anymore. it just always feels that no matter what i do, it is not good enough for her. she always had it worst. its like i want her to thing i'm #1 and she wants me to think that she is #1 and with us it doesn't work that way. so it is always a continuing fight between us of who's problems are more important. i don't want to fight with her, but her clubbing and dating boys hardly older then Robb really gets on my nerves. i don't care about that...i care about my school, my job, my birthcontrol, my boyfriend, my car, and the dog at my feet.
i do think that i could live with dogs all the time. even though most of their loyalty is based on fear, it doesn't sway the fact that i can say his name and he will wag his tale and lick my toes with love. he can get thrill of the day from me saying the words "out side". no matter how much this dog can smell some times, i will always curl up in bed with him and pet him til he falls asleep, and no i'm not talking at my boyfriend...who just took my quilt.
i have school at 11 and have to baby sit later tonight...so i should really get some sleep. i need a week off work and soon...i need to get out more..be around my friends and people that i haven't seen in a while...i need to have some fun and hear new stories.
Tell me a story.
sincerely,
erin
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[08 Apr 2004|11:10pm] |
got my hair did today...
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| tis true.... |
[05 Apr 2004|02:15am] |
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so some time this week i will hit 100,000 miles. ::tear::
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| will my sleep ever come? |
[04 Apr 2004|05:50am] |
i've been home since alittle after one and i can't sleep. it is now nearing 6am with day light savings time in mind. the alarm is set for 12:30pm so that me and the boyfriend can wake up, clean his room and maybe even wash my car my car!! my car is so dirty.
so i really want to know...is anything really wrong with me to make me unable to sleep? i want to be able to sleep so i can get up early and do stuff, like go to lunch or play with the dog...but most of the time i have enough time to throw my work clothes, that have been in a pile on the floor, in to the dryer to "iron" them. i don't think i have really ironed anything, but i do make a mean plate of French Toast {Liberty Toast} fucking US government.
i need new ink soon. i have $700 damn it.
good night
music: 311 "love song" Fuse channel 132.
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